Taylor Swift’s Amazing ‘Bejeweled’ Music Video With HAIM and Laura Dern Is Still Worst ‘Midnights’ Song

MidnightTaylor Swift’s 10th album, is nothing if not polarized. It is a individual pop masterpiece win! ! Its totally cringey! Its Top Taylor! Its boring and unevensplit between deeply vulnerable tracks and unforgettable, forgettable tracks!

I refuse to weigh in on that, but I’ll share an opinion I have: Its worst song is “Bejeweled,” track nine. “Bejeweled” is like a forgotten Jack Antonoff that he passed on to Taylor, so she could fill out his watchlist. It is a Lover B-side, something not spacious enough to fit “ME!” or “You need to calm down.” Swift has no business calling anyone “sweetheart,” as if she were Diana Ross. The high-pitched chorus of “nice!” like other minor voice effects, is an unwelcome distraction.

“Bejeweled” only suits me if I think of it as a song from the perspective of the hugely popular puzzle game. Bejeweled. That way, it’s at least a little funny — not just an unnecessary kiss of self-affirmation on an album with better albums.

When Swift Revealed that “Bejeweled” will be the second song from Midnight to receive a music video, I sighed. There are reasons to believe it could go well, to be sure; she directed it, when she did the quirky video for the first single.”Anti-hero, “Not to mention the short film “All Too Well”. But she didn’t realize that “Could, could, should be“Or” Question? “would be a better choice? How can a story like “Bejeweled” speak for itself? How many shiny beads will Swift decorate her outfit with?

Imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when music videos starting not with any fancy, glittery jewelry, but with three of my favorite women: Swift’s ladies, Haim’s sisters Haim band. There are no strangers their own excellent music videoTheir appearance can only portend good things to come.

While walking, Alana, Este and Danielle Haim, dressed in colorful necklaces, tight corsets and plump teenage skirts. “No, I’m sorry, my boys, he will choose me!” Alana told her sisters about the local prince, who had a big gala dinner that night. But Este is wearing tassels on her nipples, she told her award nominee Licorice Pizza actress’s sister. And then their mother walked in, and it was the Oscar-winning goddess Laura Dernwho planned to poison all the other women in town, leaving the prince with no choice but to marry one of them.

Where is Taylor in all of this? She was sitting on the ground, scrubbing the filthy floors and enduring the cruelty of her wicked stepmother and the cruelty of her stepmothers. They forbade her to go to the prom. They call her a prostitute! They call her stinky! They even called her – gasp! – a snake! The women who drowned Taylor to choose their jewelry for the ball, laughing merrily. On the way out, Alana, Este and Danielle even rushed in fans love TikTok ditty: “I will have a hangover! / I will drink a lot of drinks and / I will have a hangover!”

It’s an incredible opening scene and extremely replayable. There’s no one else we’d rather hear Swift call Swift a “tired bastard” than Este Haim icon. Alana’s obsession with how bad Swift smells? Perfection. Even Danielle, the softest-spoken Haim girl, has a great moment telling Swift she’s going to clean up the basin in her bed.

Suck it, Disney: Here it is live-action Cinderella rework, do it again that we deserve. Call it Cinderella (Taylor’s Version) if you have to.

Swift may not be entirely believable, especially given the course of the rest of the story: She instantly transforms into a fiery diva adorned with diamonds, heading out to the prom her family he never knew. She is “beautifully polished” as she tells us, as she walks through a corridor glittering with precious stones. Swift ends up doing a great deed in some life-size martinis; lead a team of skimpy dancers in some 1920s-inspired choreography; and finally, win over the queen to win the marriage of Prince Jack Antonoff – only to claim the throne for himself.

Sadly, girls Haim and Dern are relegated for scolding Swift in the background for the rest of the video. However: The video has a happy ending for Swift and a happy start for us. I still don’t want to hear “Bejeweled” again, but I’ll give this catchy song a go if it means seeing four of my favorite stars scream at Taylor Swift while wearing some perfectly Victorian gowns. .


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