Steph Curry’s biggest flaw? His Under Armor sneakers
I’ll be talking about Steph Curry in a negative light for the next 400 to 600 words, so all your die-hard fans should jump right now or steal your spines for the bombs. how the truth is about to start flying I was shot in ass twice and I’m taking a bunch of painkillers. The greatest shooter in basketball history has a glaring hole in his résumé. It’s not his defense or his durability – it’s his choice of shoe sponsor.
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squid curry what looks like a lifetime deal with Washington D.C.— the sports apparel company is headquartered on Thursday, and will take over as president of UA’s Curry Brands division. This is like being promoted to CEO of Payless Shoes, or skateboardchers give you the key of the ski kingdom.
This move was clearly made with the intention of turning the Curry Brand into a Jordan Brand knockoff, and it was delusional when I thought that Curry’s golf swings would bring my handicap below 25. Nothing can fix my accuracy off the tee like Under Armor will never provide the public with redeemable sportswear.
Curry can be raised a team, a league, but not Under Armor
The four-time NBA, tournament, and final championship MVP has officially let the sneaker fanatics dare to ask: What if Steph had a pair of shoes as transcendent as his game?
Now we’ll never know because Curry will stay with the company – which earned us (and him) the Dad Shoe – for the foreseeable future. The partnership spent the same amount of time on Steph’s most recent logo when he launched a 30-footer ad.and Curry wearing the #2 badge tells you all you need to know about Under Armor’s marketability.
I own a UA clothing item — a gray zippered hoodie — and it’s enough for me to consider it a lifetime supply. It’s as modest as you’d think of a gray hoodie, but I still hate it. The elastic at the waist was somehow crumpled horizontally, and I pretty much had to use an iron to fix it.
Personal matters aside, if you want concrete proof that Under Armor has outfitted the coolest basketball player with clown boots for about a decade, just get a look at his sneaker-ography. I’m not sure what sport they are designed for. I can be persuaded to box, go for a jog, or take a leisurely walk with your cock. Anything but basketball.
How many of Maryland’s ugly novelty uniforms must we endure before the fashion industry comes together to cancel Under Armor? Hell, the only way we’ll ever get a respectable pair of Curry shoes is if the brand signs Ye as its next designer, spontaneously ignites or goes bankrupt. Give me option A, B, C or all of the above. Just don’t give me a pair of Currys.