As millions of New York City residents cope with an ongoing heat wave, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly appear to be living in an alternate reality where the air is crisp and wearing anything less than a light winter coat is unsuitable. On Sept. 7, the couple stepped out in a set of fuzzy headgear fit for a winter ski trip, a vacation in Antarctica, or virtually anywhere other than the sweat-inducing boroughs of New York in late summer.
For her half of the perplexing ensemble, Fox stepped out in a black cardigan, flared leggings, and a pair of lugged sneakers. She accessorized with a leather crossbody bag with silver-chain detailing, coordinated necklaces, and white sunglasses. On top of her head, the actor gave a sartorial FU to the weather with a fuzzy black bucket hat. In addition to the fact that black fabric absorbs more heat from both the sun and your skin, Fox’s hat, admittedly, has me a little concerned for her well-being. Does her bag contain a portable fan? A bottle of extra-cold iced tea? A thermostat set to 72 F to prove that her personal bubble is colder than all of Manhattan?
At least Kelly, on the other hand, took a slightly cooler approach to his ensemble with a lighter color palette. Complementing Fox’s look, Kelly walked alongside his fiancée in a pair of sage-green cargo pants, a “Bad Hair Day” graphic T-shirt, and a pair of sneakers. Equally impenetrable to the heat, Kelly completed his outfit with a furry black balaclava, sunglasses, and silver jewelry. How he managed not to overheat within seconds of stepping out is nothing short of a mystery. His saving grace appears to be a pink cold cup, which I can only assume is filled with a never-ending supply of ice water that he and Fox can share to stave off the heat.
For some, their eyes might go directly to the bear-like set of ears atop Kelly’s head or the fiery red of Fox’s freshly dyed bob. When I look at these photos of Fox and Kelly, however, I’m haunted only by the knowledge of the boiling sweat that must be trapped under the thick layers of their headgear. While the couple’s coordinated sunglasses hint they’re aware of the weather, everything else about their outfits has me convinced that they’ve transcended past summer into a season all their own.
From behind, even Fox and Kelly’s security guard can be seen walking forward with a look of skepticism on his face. Whether it’s because of the blistering heat or the couple’s unique wardrobe choices is unclear. Would I have swapped the headpieces for sun hats or visors? Absolutely. The fact that they chose to suffer together for the sake of style, though, is a little sweet.
Whether Fox and Kelly were nonplussed by the weather or truly unaware of the scorching temperatures remains to be seen. Either way, we hope the couple were able to slip back into an air-conditioned building or vehicle shortly after their stroll. PG&E knows I’ll be parking myself directly in front of an open freezer to shake off the secondhand sweat.